I wish

I want to tell the world of this secret
This secret that is buried deep within my core
This secret long bonded to my heart
I want to shout it out to the heavens
Crying madly out with a passion

I am burning to ashes inside
With thoughts of self hatred corrupting my head
I want someone to know, but who can I believe?
To whom can I entrust the seeds of my being?
To whom shall I show the fragile linings of my mind?

I wish to cry endlessly with no one around to stop me
No one around who'll look and judge
So I may feel no shame for the tears that drop
Tears that make me vulnerable but alive nonetheless
Tears that hold the surge of emotions that have long since died

I wish I could understand
My plastic smiles and glassy eyes
My reasons as to why I created a shadow of myself
That held the lies and excuses that I manipulated
And molded into a thin steel mask

I feel so void in my shell of laughter and kindness
Not knowing who I am or better yet, what I am
Being filled only by the coldness of apathy and disgust
I wish for one thing, one single thing above the others

But why would I bother with the impossible?